How an Old man Boosts His Libido!

Saturday December 6, 2014 10 p.m.

Flamboyant celebrities, like Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus, and even Madonna, shrewdly know that the best way to make it to the top is to do something outrageous. Either in what you wear or don’t wear, or in what you say. Expose your nipples, re women of course, and it’s front page news, and even worthy of the evening news on TV.

I tried being provocative, to help promote my books, but unfortunately, no one reads the audacious stuff I say, like “Why is FUCK” a DIRTY word?” And, why did our Intelligent Designer create a woman’s CLITORIS when it has nothing to do with reproduction? It’s a surefire way to have my wife “go to the moon” when we go at it, and I thoroughly enjoy taking her there. Since she doesn’t read my blogs, I can tell you what really shivers her timbers: Taking her to Australia! And, of course, it works both ways! If you want more details, send me an email and I’ll gladly provide them.

Speaking of being outrageous, last week I startled my racquetball buddies telling them that when I’m bored, I Google LESBIAN PORN VIDEOS to watch some hot-looking babes go at it. My reasoning? Who can teach me better about how to make love to my wife than women who do it? Then too, let’s face it, men are turned on by the sight of beautiful naked women. That’s why billions of guys subscribe to Playboy and Penthouse, buy “adult” DVD movies and visit porn sites. I for one, would rather watch naked women go at it than watch old-lady Barbara Walters, lard-ass Rosy O’Donnell or Rosanne Barr or stupid situation comedies or any of the other crap TV has to offer.

There is one more plus in watching Lesbians go at it. At age 93, I need help in boosting my LIBIDO. It’s a lot healthier, to my mind, than taking Viagra or Cialis, which I don’t trust, and I don’t trust any pills, for that matter, and so far my way works. Sundays are our love-making days, and excuse me while I visit my favorite tune-up site to prepare for the Supreme Encounter of the week hat is second only to racquetball.

If you want to know how I make out, stay tuned!