Blog gone; then back

Wednesday December 10, 2014 10 a.m.

Greetings, whoever the hell you are!
I couldn’t access my blog last night; it disappeared! I thought, Oh,Oh, I’m being censored. But, happily, it’s go again. One of the things that I am not too keen on doing is using obscenities, like “shit” and “fuck.” But then I say to myself, “Hell, the movies are full of worse obscenities than that, without public protest,so they must now be more acceptable to people. Anyhow, the language I use is the REAL ME even though it may paint a negative picture of me. Maybe it’s my age, when we tell it like it is without pretense, and let it all hang out. Then too when I an really “pissed off” (provoked, angry) spewing out obscenities seems to help me vent. And, of course, the LOUDER, the better.

In chatting with my racquetball buddy Robert yesterday, a loner who has just acquired a good-looking lady-friend, I said, “Robert, are you still seeing Janet?” After he nodded, “Yes,” I said, “I don’t know about your inclinations, Robert, but as for me, nothing beats having easy access to two tits and a vagina.” It sounds crude, but it’s the truth and it’s exactly how I rate the experiences of life. It’s at the top of my list.

Incidentally, I’ve said that once before several years ago when I was in a required anger-management class after I was jailed for having a bloody fight with my predatory second wife. Our assignment for the final session was to list 5 things that frustrated us the most. When she (the instructor) called upon me (“She” was a very hot young lady) to voice my frustrations (I didn’t mention that being in her class unnecessarily was one of them), I spouted;
#1. Being old and living alone. (I was a bachelor at the time)
#2. Not being able to play racquetball like I used to
#3. Not being rich, famous and as good-looking as George Clooney.
#4. Not being able to have flagpole erections like I used to.
#5 Not having easy access to two tit and a vagina.

When I looked toward her to make eye-contact, she was just holding her head between her hands shaking it side to side in disbelief. When she looked toward me, I put my arm across my chest and said with tongue-in-cheek, “I’m sorry, Ms. Watkins, but you asked for it and I told it like it is.” She gave me an understanding nod and that was it.

When she handed me my Certificate of Completion of the Course as we left, she said, “I hope you get rid of that last frustration so you don’t wind up back here again.” I said, “No to worry. Jail is no fun.” Then, I said, “Honey, (It was the last day of class so I could be brash without negative consequences) it’s too bad you’re all tied up because you’d be the perfect one to help me get rid of that last frustration.” Then I offered and pointed to my cheek and said, “How about a goodbye kiss?” As she complied, I swung my head around and pecked her on her lips. Instead of getting angry, she wagged her index finger at me, laughed and said, “GOODBYE, you dirty old man, try to stay out of trouble.”

You know what? Humor is the grease makes the world go round smoothly, and for many years it’s seen me through a lot of difficulties!